How we Teach Kids to See their Community

By Brandy Jemczura, Founder & Executive Director, Seeds of Caring

When we teach kids about giving back, we tend to focus on what they can do. Volunteer at a food pantry. Collect coats. Donate toys. Raise money for a cause they care about. But there’s something else happening in those moments that I would argue is even more important. We’re teaching kids how to see their community and the people in it.

Kids are always listening. They notice the words we use to describe people, neighborhoods, and challenges. And over time, those words help shape what they believe about why some people have more than others, who needs help, and even who they think has something to offer. At Seeds of Caring, we come back again and again to a simple idea and we say to kids: “We all need help sometimes, and we can all give help sometimes.”

Little kids understand this naturally. They remember when a grown-up tied their shoe, a friend helped them when they fell, or someone took care of them when they were sick. As kids get older, we can take that idea further. Needing support is part of being human. Giving back isn’t about one group of people helping another but rather it’s about people looking out for each other.

One thing we’ve learned at Seeds of Caring is that the words we choose really matter here. Instead of saying we’re collecting food for “people who are struggling to make ends meet,” try: “Some families are working really hard to get everything they need, but there still might not be enough money left at the end of the month for food.” It’s a small change, but kids hear something different. They hear a story about a whole person or family, not a label.

With tweens and teens, these conversations can and should get more complicated. They’re starting to form their own opinions about poverty, homelessness, fairness, discrimination, and other issues they see around them. We don’t always need to hand them an explanation. Sometimes a good question is better.

Why do you think this happens? What might we not understand yet? Who knows the most about this issue because they’ve experienced it? What is already going well in this community?

Giving kids opportunities to practice philanthropy makes these conversations real. That might mean volunteering together, deciding where to make a family donation, learning about a local issue, collecting needed items, advocating for something they care about, or sharing a skill. Older kids can research organizations and decide which approaches they believe in. Younger kids can choose between two causes and tell you why one matters to them.

The point isn’t to raise kids who walk through the world looking for people to “help.” We want them to notice people and in doing so, to be curious instead of making assumptions. We want kids to see strengths alongside needs and to understand that their neighbors have stories and ideas and talents they know nothing about yet. And, hopefully, to grow up believing that taking care of a community is something we all get to do together.

Try This: Simple Ways to Help Kids see their Community with Dignity and Respect

Use person-first language.
Try not to define people by a circumstance they’re experiencing. Say “people experiencing homelessness” rather than “the homeless” and “people receiving food assistance” rather than “the needy.” Help kids see the person first.

Ask about strengths.
When you’re talking about a community challenge, try asking questions like “What strengths do you notice in this community?” or “Who is already working to make this better?”

Go deeper with older kids.
Ask your tween or teen: “What do you think would need to change so fewer people experience this?” Then listen. You don’t need to know the answer either.

Let kids have a say in your family’s giving.
Talk about the causes your family supports and why. Let kids research an organization, choose a cause, help decide where a donation goes, or find another way to contribute.

Keep coming back to the simplest version.
“We all need help sometimes, and we can all give help sometimes.” That’s true at 4, at 14, and for us grown-ups, too.

About Seeds of Caring
Seeds of Caring is CICF’s youth philanthropy partner.

At Seeds of Caring, we imagine a future with more kindness, more empathy, and more inclusiveness. It all starts with our future generation. Our kids deserve a world that is kinder, more just, and more connected than the one we live in today. Seeds of Caring works to turn this vision into reality, offering service projects for kids ages 2 to 12—empowering them to make a real difference through service, social action, and community-building projects. We are raising a generation of kids who are change-makers and bridge-builders. Together with their grown-ups (that’s you!), we teach children about the causes of social issues, break down barriers that prevent us from living in full community with one another, and encourage our youth to use their hearts, hands, and minds for good. Together, we are creating a brighter tomorrow. Join us!